Bridging The Gap Between Our Two Emotional Worlds
We all have two psychological worlds we all live in, two emotional worlds, we need to become aware of and to understand how these two worlds operate. For most people, there is a significant gap between these two worlds. The bigger the gap, the more pain we will experience, the bigger the gap, the more isolation and loneliness we will feel. The smaller the gap between our two worlds the more emotionally fit we can become. The two worlds we all have are our inner worlds and our outer worlds.
Our outer world is the persona, the energy or the representation we give the outside world of who we are. For most people that is not really the truth of who we are. We are doing what we feel we need to do, in order to thrive or survive in that particular environment. We are acting the way we need to, as an echo of the conditioning of schooling, which is to fit in. To fit in to that work environment, the tribe , the group, community or where ever we are with other people. The outer world is a behaviour we do in order to be accepted, to fit in.
Our inner world is our essence, it is our being, it is what is essential, it is our true emotional compass. It is where our purpose in life, the one we were born with resides, it is where our core is and are values are, it is our inner knowing we all have. Deciding to be loyal to your inner world means you no longer value trying to fit in, instead we learn how to appropriately share parts of our inner worlds with others so that instead of fitting in, we will begin to feel like we belong. Our inner world is who we are and our being.
There is a massive difference between fitting in and belonging which is not taught in the education system. The education system is based on a teaching us a system of compliance, not to question but to rather accept what we are taught as fact and compile accordingly. When we belong to a tribe there is a genuine cross over of values. To belong is to be accepted warts and all. Where we are accepted for who we truly are. Your inner world is accepted. You don’t have to be something you are not.
The three universal fears of the human condition are:
Not belonging
Not being loved
Not being enough
When we have people around us that we feel safe and comfortable exposing our inner world too and can be ourselves and be completely unedited and filtered and our inner world connects with their inner world that is how you have true connection. You no longer feel emotionally isolated or alone. We all have a need to belong to a family, tribe, team or community or group of some kind. This doesn’t mean you need to have to share your inner world with everyone you meet, most people have 3-5 people whom they consider to be their tribe.
In trying to meet these three universal fears, a lot of people spend more time in their outer world then their inner world and can be trapped by that. When we spend more time in our outer world than our inner world we behave and make decisions which are influenced by external sources with their own agendas. We expend unsustainable amounts of energy trying to fit in everywhere. When we try and fit in to others inner worlds our identities become diluted, lost, diffused into our life experiences. This can lead to an identity crisis.
An identity crisis can contribute immensely to anxiety and depression issues.
So many people feel alone not in a physical sense, they are around plenty of people all the time, however they lack true connection and therefore feel emotionally isolated and lonely. They lack energy on a spiritual level because they are busy being something that they are not, they are spending more time in their outer world trying to fit in to their surroundings then their inner worlds of being who they truly are and finding genuine belonging. Fitting in for many people seems the safer option in life than truly embracing who they are at their core. However fitting in is not a universal need - belonging is.
When we can live a life, or create a life, or design a life or work towards a life where the gap between our inner worlds and outer worlds is very small, this brings us one step closer to emotional fitness.
Emotional fitness allows us to:
Embrace connection rather than fear,
Have an abundance mindset rather than a scarcity mindset,
Take full responsibility for our lives for our results and non results, for our actions and non actions.
Working with a coach does for the rest of your life what your personal trainer does for your health and fitness. If you are interested in connecting to see how working with me can help you - click below and lets chat!